There is probably no worse feeling in a relationship than suspecting or knowing that your partner is being unfaithful. The cold fingers of dread that creep up your spine and start to squeeze your heart so hard that it disintegrates into a thousand pieces.
Some might think I’m being dramatic, but for those who have felt it, you will know it’s an understatement of the wave of emotions that can hit us when we find out the person we loved and trusted has betrayed us. And with the boom of technology and social media, it seems that we have even more ways our relationships can be threatened these days.
Of course, relationships break down because for a variety of reasons and issues, but I’m focusing on why someone is capable of throwing everything away for a moment of passion with another?
Here are six possible reasons why people cheat:
Being unfaithful can often be the result of a person feeling very insecure within themselves. Whether they suffer from low self-esteem, depression or have past issues they haven’t dealt with, it can all manifest in a way that is detrimental to themselves and their relationships.
When people are insecure, they often cause drama in their life without even meaning to do so. However, more often than not they will use their fears or state of mind as an excuse for their behaviour and play the role of the victim (even though they clearly were the one in the wrong). So, don’t kid yourself… no matter how low or insecure they feel, they are still responsible for their actions, and what they have done is not justifiable.
2. Fear of commitment
For some people, being committed to someone means that they then have a certain expectation placed upon them which they feel they can’t live up to. They might see being in a monogamous relationship as an end of fun and freedom, or that you will, in some way, expect them to be more than they are.
Being in a committed relationship can also make people feel vulnerable, because it will essentially require a lot more of oneself than a one-night stand and it has a whole lot more consequences than a non-committed relationship.
3. They feel neglected
Your partner needs attention, romance and to feel loved and appreciated. Life can get busy, especially with children, work, cleaning and everything else, but the moment we start letting our priorities get out of order is the moment we start to invite temptation and issues into our relationship.
Your actions and words have the power to build your partner up or tear them down. They will also indicate what you think of your spouse and where your relationship lies on your priority list. No one likes to feel neglected and unappreciated as it can breed bitterness and resentment.
4. Needs are no longer being met
It’s not rocket science, nor is it a news flash: Men are physical and need sex, and women need affection and attention. This isn’t about having to be physically intimate with your partner every single day, because if that’s what they want then I’m afraid there is an even bigger issue at hand. *cough*
Regular intercourse will, however, help to create and keep that close intimate bond between you and it will satisfy his natural urges and needs, which, in turn, usually makes him a more desirable and loving partner.
Men also need to be aware that a woman needs to feel loved, romanced and valued, as well as physically fulfilled.
5. They love the chase
There will be people that are only in it for the thrill, and these are the ones who usually have a track record of the ‘hit and run’ method: they hit your heart — and your booty — hard and then run as soon as things become too serious and complicated. This person doesn’t want to commit because that represents the end of fun. Instead they get their kicks out of pursuing and chasing someone new and once they have caught them, they will instinctively look for another soon after to offer them the buzz they are after.
6. They have fallen out of love or feel your relationship has become complacent
Love is not just a feeling, it’s an action that needs to happen daily regardless of the situation or emotions you are feeling at the time. It’s no secret that you’ve got to work hard at your relationship so that it doesn’t become stale, one-sided or loveless.
Partners can and will cheat if they have fallen out of love or feel like their relationship has died. Does it make it excusable? No. Understandable perhaps, but at any rate, if a someone feels the need to have an affair after being faithful for a long time then clearly there were problems going on long before the act itself.