Heart warming ‘You may want to marry my husband’

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WHILE many of us might be guilty of spending endless periods of time trying to perfect our dating profiles, none will ever hold a candle to the one written by author Amy Krouse Rosenthal – only, she wasn’t even writing it for herself.

Rosenthal, who is terminally ill with ovarian cancer, penned a dating profile for her husband Jason for The New York Times and it’ll simultaneously warm and break your heart in one foul swoop.

The author starts: “I have been married to the most extraordinary man for 26 years. I was planning on at least another 26 together.”

After asking her readers if they “want to hear a sick joke?” Rosenthal recounts heading to the hospital in September 2015 where, “a few hours and tests later, the doctor clarifies that the unusual pain the wife is feeling on her right side isn’t the no-biggie appendicitis they suspected but rather ovarian cancer.”

Her kids had just left for college but as soon as she received her diagnosis, Rosenthal and her husband’s post-kid plans “instantly went poof”.

“No wonder the word cancer and cancel look so similar,” she writes.

Rosenthal then proceeds to introduce us to Jason who she was set up with on a blind date.

“It was 1989. We were only 24. I had precisely zero expectations about this going anywhere. But when he knocked on the door of my little frame house, I thought, ‘Uh-oh, there is something highly likeable about this person.'”

By the end of their blind dinner date, Rosenthal admits she knew she wanted to marry him.

The best-selling author proceeds to construct the world’s best dating profile for her husband revealing everything from his “flair for fabulous socks” to “his affinity for tiny things”.

And then, she encourages her audience to do as they do on Tinder and swipe right.

The part that will have you careening through your house for a box of tissues is when she describes her tattoo which reads “more.”

“I want more time with Jason. I want more time with my children. I want more time sipping martinis at the Green Mill Jazz Club on Thursday nights. But that is not going to happen. I probably have only a few days left being a person on this planet.”

“So why am I doing this?” she wonders.

“I am wrapping this up on Valentine’s Day and the most genuine, non-vase-oriented gift I can hope for is that the right person reads this, finds Jason, and another love story begins.”

Rosenthal is a best-selling New York Times author well known for her children’s books such as Little Pea, Spoon, and Duck! Rabbit! as well as her 2005 autobiography Encyclopaedia of an Ordinary Life.

Since writing her piece You May Want To Marry My Husband, thousands have taken to Twitter to express their heartbreak and the impression the piece left on them.

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Henry Sapiecha

Online Date Site Punters Not Really As Picky As They Say They Are

arrows-to-the-heart sketch image www.mylove-au.com

People come to online dating with high expectations for an ideal partner who checks all their romantic boxes — but a new study, published in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking, shows that online daters often choose partners who don’t match their stated preferences at all.

“We looked at whether or not people actually contact people who match what they say is their ideal partner in their profile, and our findings show they don’t. Stating a preference for what you are looking for appears to have little to no bearing on the characteristics of people you actually contact,” said lead researcher Stephen Whyte of Australia’s Queensland University of Technology.

Whyte and his colleagues crunched data from more than 41,000 Australians between the ages of 18 and 80 who used the dating site RSVP. The researchers looked specifically at more than 219,000 instances when one online dater reached out to another and analyzed how the recipient’s characteristics — from hair color to religious views — matched up with what the initiator said they wanted. The study found that over 65 percent of the messages were sent to people who met only one — or none — of their stated preferences. Men, compared to women, picked people who shared fewer characteristics with their ideal partner.

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“How people go about finding a partner is changing dramatically thanks to the internet. Where once we were limited to settings such as school, work, social gatherings or local night spots, there is a much wider choice at hand online,” said Whyte. But as the researchers discovered, that much wider choice doesn’t mean that people are holding out for Mr. or Ms. Perfect, at least not when it comes to initiating contact on a dating site. Instead, as the press release puts it, “people may actually prefer to settle on an acceptable threshold of qualities or characteristics in a potential mate, rather than hold out.”

Ah, yes, that politically loaded term settlingSome have argued that it’s exactly what people — excuse me, women — should do, while others have strongly cautioned against it. While this research seems to suggest that people are settling when it comes to online dating, it sounds like something more positive is going on here. People are — very reasonably, it seems — open to talking to potential romantic partners who don’t appear to check all their boxes.

This news might mean less pressure to live up to a vision of the perfect partner — because online daters just aren’t taking those ideals too seriously. As Whyte puts it, “I think it’s really encouraging findings for people searching for that special someone online.”

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Henry Sapiecha